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Sometimes things that appear completely negative can actually have a positive effect on your marriage. Just as an example, here are 10 awful things you'll never regret doing to your wife.
Challenging her
When challenging someone, generally you believe that you are the best you possibly can be at the skills required to win. These qualities will also work in your marriage, but in a slightly different way. Be the kind of husband that challenges your wife to be better than she is because she sees you striving to be your best self too. When your wife sees you striving to be a good person through the things you say and do, she will want to be a better person too. Your marriage will be strengthened as you strive for greatness together.
Teasing her
Admit it; when you were a boy, you always teased the girl you liked. Make sure that you bring that playful spirit into your marriage. One definition of teasing is to arouse desire. Make sure that you are teasing your wife in a loving way that will arouse her desire to want you, to be with you and to love you. Make her smile with your playful teasing and you will be smiling too.
Holding her captive
Holding your wife captive is one of the most important things you can do to keep your marriage together. Devote yourself to your wife and her needs in such a way that she will never have a desire to leave you or your marriage. Be attentive to her, listen to her, communicate with her. Let her know that you are, and always will be there for her when she needs you. Don't give her reason to run to someone else for her problems or her comfort. If you focus on her, it helps her to focus on you, and neither of you will want to leave because you'll both be taking care of each other.
Seducing her
Seduction isn't really talked about when it comes to man and wife, but it plays a vital role in any healthy marriage. Making love starts long before the bedroom and seduction can play an important part in how it actually plays out. If you want to seduce your wife, send her flowers, help with dinner, dance with her in the kitchen, whisper in her ear and tell her she's beautiful, wink at her, let her catch you staring. It's the little things that you do to pay attention to your wife that will make all the difference. Women are emotional creatures, and much of her desires are based on the way she feels. Make her feel like she's wanted, like she's worth a million dollars - it will lead to more intimate nights.
Smothering her
Smother your wife with your kisses and your affection. Very few marriages can survive without physical touch. Make sure you are showing your love by the gentle way you touch her, hold her and kiss her. Physical contact outside of sexual intimacy can help your wife feel you value her, and not just what she can give you. As you hold her hand, kiss her and run your fingers through her hair; she will know your love and feel close to you. As you smother her with your affection, she will naturally give her love back to you.
Ignoring her
Sometimes your wife will have a bad day and she will say things she doesn't really mean. When those days come, do your best to ignore the hurtful things she might say and try to love her anyway. It is never OK for a wife or husband to say hurtful things to one another, but we are all human and make mistakes. So if those occasions ever come in your marriage, please do your best to ignore them and stay focused on the love you feel and the words that are said when the days aren't so sullen. If you can forgive and forget, your marriage will be stronger for it.
Laughing at her
Sometimes women can take life, and themselves, a little too seriously. Help your wife to see the lighter side of things. Help her to laugh at herself and at the difficulties that may come. Humor is a great way to face the difficulties of life together. Help her feel happy and you will find happiness, too.
Harassing her
One definition of harassment is to "torment, as with troubles or cares." Make sure that you are going to your wife with your troubles, with the things that you care about, with your hopes and your desires. Make sure she is your best friend and confidant and the first person you go to for advice. She is there to help carry your burdens, even if they are difficult for her to hear. Let her be there for you, just like you are there for her, and you will always have someone to lean on.
Kidnapping her
Make sure you kidnap your wife often. Get a babysitter and take her out on dates, away from the children, where just the two of you can be together. Dating your wife is another one of those important things that help to strengthen your marriage. Life changes daily and dating helps you to get reacquainted with one another after a long week of absence. Make it a priority - you'll be glad you did.
Getting her pregnant
Getting a woman pregnant has negative connotations, but conceiving a baby out of love for one another is one of the most beautifully rewarding things you can do in your marriage. Your marriage will grow and develop in ways you never imagined as you learn to parent His children together. It's a journey that will bring both bitter and sweet, but a family will change your lives for the better.
Practice these 10 scandalous things in your marriage and you'll be surprised at how sometimes awful things can create something awfully beautiful.
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Tiffany Fletcher, author of "Mother Had a Secret: Learning to Love my Mother and her Multiple Personalities."
