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Jewish World Review His and her movies By Jim Mullen http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Sue is dying to see "Les Miserables"; I can't wait to see "Django Unchained." She wants to see "Django" as much as she wants to eat giant sea slugs, and I want to sit through the three hours of "Les Mis" as much as I want to help her shop for purses. "Have you seen the commercial for it? It's all blood and gore and guns and death," she says. I say, "That's why it's called 'miserable,' isn't it?" "You know I'm talking about 'Django.' 'Les Mis' is a musical." "Yeah, a musical about blood and gore and guns and death. The only difference is they get to sing as they die, which is just dragging it out, if you ask me." Once again, we are at an impasse over which movie to see. The ones she likes to watch are torture for me; the ones I like, she thinks are disgusting. "What about 'Lincoln'?" she asks. "Everyone says it's really great. Too bad he dies at the end." "Now you've wrecked it for me. You're supposed to say 'spoiler alert' before you blurt out the end of a movie. I'll never be able to enjoy it now. How would you like it if I told you what happened to the Titanic before you saw the film?" "I knew what was going to happen. If knowing the ending of a movie spoils it for you, it must not be a very good movie. Everyone knows what happens at the end of 'Romeo and Juliet,' but they still want to see it," Sue says. "Well, don't tell me. I haven't seen it yet." It's not just movies. We have a "Downton Abbey" gap in our house, too. Sue's seen all the episodes twice; I haven't been able to get through a single one. It's not that I don't like them, it's that you have to watch them in order or you miss everything. I never saw the first episode, so I'm lost. You don't have to watch the James Bond or Jackie Chan movies in order. You can just dive in any old time and they still make sense. I don't know when our tastes started to diverge. Maybe we never liked all the same things and just now -- many, many years later -- we're willing to say so. When you're dating, you go the extra mile and do things you may not like to do just to be with the other person. On the fourth date you can say things like, "Sure, I'd love to come with you to shop for fabric remnants." In the second year of marriage, she might say, "Sure, go out drinking with your high school buddies. Go have some fun." Then, after 30 years, you find yourself watching different television shows in different rooms. I'm watching the Billy Bob Thornton festival on Spike TV, and she's watching extreme home makeovers on HGTV. Maybe cable TV has done this to us. Back when there were only three channels, we almost had to watch the same shows together. I mean, can you remember what was on opposite "The Ed Sullivan Show"? Neither can I. It's not as if we disagree about every film. Neither of us wants to go to teenage slasher movies with names like "The Chilling," "The Grabbing" or "The Spooking." If there's a gerund in the title, we pretty much know it's not for The Ageing. We don't have knock-down drag-outs over the latest gross-out comedy, because neither of us has any interest in it. We avoid anything that might attract small children, so there's no need for discussion. So we end up double-dating with a couple we know who have the same problems we do agreeing on a movie. Sue and Sally will go see "Les Mis" at the multiplex, while Bob and I will go down the hall to "Django," and we'll all meet at a restaurant for dinner. Bob and I just hope it's not that health-food place they dragged us to last time. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo." Previously: WARNING: The local gym may be hazardous to your health The Starbucks Gap Meat-free holiday about as happy as a heart attack All I don't want is another gadget We went to the fiscal cliff and all i got was this stupid t-shirt Some years, you just want to stay home The first Thanksgiving family feud Spamming the globe Suburban mall is an endangered species Worthless heist: Only in the world fine arts The debate debate Looking for a shortcut to penury? Buy a car The pros and cons of a chicken tattoo Does saying 'no' make us bad grandparents? Crying 'foul' over ballpark proposals College loans and job-search groans That buzzing you hear is the sound of time flying Too much of anything can get annoying Five billionth in line for the throne WARNING! This article may cause drowsiness The mail and email of the species Jotting down the un-bucket list Bees deliver stinging fashion critique Have a tissue issue? Help is a phone call away My guy's guys are better than your guy's guys Divorce, Facebook style Millionaires are a dime a dozen What not to name the baby Technology is a wonderful thing -- when it works A bad case of the wedding bill blues Of cupcakes, teenage moms and crazy nuptials FOOD FIGHT! Rolling Stoned Caterwauling over death of books is premature Ask your doctor if this column is right for you Could shopping be any more inconvenient? Thanks for the lack of memories Help wanted: Teenage life coach with all the answers Sorry, wrinkles are not legal proof of age Dead mice tell no tales GOING PAPERLESS -- PRICELESS! Should bad behavior be rewarded? The perplexing problems of the rich and famous Do these glasses make my gut look big? More expensive by the dozen In one year and out the other Thank heaven it's Black Friday Planning for the long term ---- tomorrow READING THIS WILL MAKE YOU THIN AND HAPPY! The Seven Secrets of Success It's tough living off the gridIt's tough living off the grid How not to clean the houseIt's tough living off the grid The yellow badge of cowardice Any way you slice it Home sweet homeschooling Don't Head for the Borders Money ball Golf and death go hand in hand Tune in, turn off, unplug The radar curtain Is Steve Jobs clouding my privacy? The gift of garbage Johnny Intern, Ph.D. Twenty-foot fences make good neighbors You must remember this… TV experts and real news Hey caller, where's the fire? My sad cushy life Pacemaker, don't you mess around with me Big Brother is skinny Flight of the snowbirds This HDTV needs child support Dear Future: Where's the dome? Not so elementary, my dear Watson A vacation revolution Your call is very unimportant to us Life: There's no app for that Bam! Practical kitchen magic Poisoning myself Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version! $38,000 for traffic and weather updates 2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack 2010: A year of annoying junk Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters Money never sleeps, but it does pass out President Trump kept it classy Stalking your college kid won't change a thing Putting my life in ‘Jeopardy’ Mo' government, mo' problems iLostIt Dressed for excess Expert tease The mysteries of Jersey ‘You are a toilet, where am I?’ Don't we all cheat at the game of life? What happens when I forget where Google is? Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out Picasso fiasco Purple (hair) ‘Daze’ Let me hear your body talk Working from work Babies deserve clean restrooms, too 3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past Money-making ideas on the fly Collecting and hoarding Chain of fools Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic A pose by any other name Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers ‘He loves only gold, only gold’ Think about direction, wonder why … Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet More like ‘wack’ Friday The good, the ad and the ugly The desert of the real Let books be large and in charge I was insulting people way before the Internet GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left! Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high Music to my ears it's not You don't light up my life Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’ A parable for the ‘ages’ Top 100 Cable news stories of the century Green dumb A developing story Thinking outside the lunch box What's good for the goose is good for the scanner Newspapers will survive, but network TV? A really big show of generation gaps When pigs flu The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated Mergers and admonitions Invest in gold: little, yellow, different Stuck in Folsom Penthouse Collecting karma Setting loose the creative ‘juice’ It's all in the numbers You're damaging your brain with practical skills The real rat pack The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic Gross-ery shopping © 2009, NEA

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