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June 19, 2013
June 12, 2013
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Fred Weir: In tweak to US, Russia would 'consider' asylum for Snowden
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Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison
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Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself
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Andrew Connelly and Helene Bienvenu: The Little Synagogue that Refused to Die
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Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb: When I didn't so 'humbly disagree'
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
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Jewish World Review
Today's special: Cacophony, with a side order of the flu
By
Jim Mullen
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
"Hi, I'm Stacy, and I'll be your server. Can I get you something to drink while you look at the menu?" she yelled over the high-decibel music. Over Stacy's shoulder I could see seven large-screen TVs, each showing a different sports event -- football, basketball, soccer, skiing, snowboarding, hockey and pingpong. Many more were scattered around the restaurant out of my line of sight.
It's odd, but when we eat at home, I can't tell you how often we turn on the television and the radio at the same time, or how often we turn up the music volume to 11. Oh, wait, I can tell you. Never.
It was hard to hear Screamin' Stacy over the music, but I think she explained that the Drink o' the Day was a chocolate milkshake made with double shots of brandy and tequila. Drink three, and the fourth one's on the house. That sounded a little heavy for lunch, so we stuck with diet sodas.
While Stacy was fetching our drinks, we scanned the menus. I suddenly remembered reading that the filthiest things in most restaurants aren't the bathrooms, but the menus. Unlike the bathrooms, the menus never get cleaned. Mine was a little sticky and smelled vaguely of popcorn shrimp. Maybe restaurants should put a bottle of Purell in the condiment tray along with the ketchup and hot sauce. Which brings up another question: How many people have handled that hot sauce bottle today, in the middle of flu season?
The giant televisions were starting to annoy me -- not simply because they were on, but because of the lack of variety. Why wasn't "The Voice" on any of the TVs? Or "The View"? Or "NCIS" or "Dr. Phil," or "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" or a thousand other shows? Why was it all sports? "Because you don't need the sound to watch sports," Sue said.
"You don't need it to watch Dr. Phil, either," I said. "You know he's going to say to every guest, 'How's that working out for you?' But why do they have TVs at all? We came to eat lunch, not watch highlights of last Saturday's football games."
"Most of the time you have to wait in line to get into this place," Sue said. "It must be doing something right."
You can't argue with success, but is this how people decide where to eat now? By how many televisions the place has? And if televisions are the deciding factor, wouldn't people want to watch something specific? What if the customer said, "I'll give you a bigger tip if you put on 'American Pickers.'" Would that attract more customers or drive them away?
Actually, there's a good chance that the American pickers owned the place we were in. Everything on the wall looked as if it came out of one of those old barns full of junk they find in dirt-road country. There was an old Schwinn bike and a tin sign for Moxie hanging between two of the TV sets, and every other square inch of wall space was covered in memorabilia from the 1950s and '60s reminding people of a simpler time, a time before they put TV sets in restaurants.
Two guys were sitting at the bar drinking the brandy/tequila milkshakes and ignoring all the entertainment around them. They were intently watching something on their smartphones. I passed them on my way to try to wash some of the deadly menu viruses off my hands.
One guy was playing "Words With Friends"; the other was scoping out his Facebook wall. Now that almost everyone has a little TV with a thousand channels in their pocket, do we even still need the big ones?
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment by clicking here.
Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."
Previously:
His and her movies
WARNING: The local gym may be hazardous to your health
The Starbucks Gap
Meat-free holiday about as happy as a heart attack
All I don't want is another gadget
We went to the fiscal cliff and all i got was this stupid t-shirt
Some years, you just want to stay home
The first Thanksgiving family feud
Spamming the globe
Suburban mall is an endangered species
Worthless heist: Only in the world fine arts
The debate debate
Looking for a shortcut to penury? Buy a car
The pros and cons of a chicken tattoo
Does saying 'no' make us bad grandparents?
Crying 'foul' over ballpark proposals
College loans and job-search groans
That buzzing you hear is the sound of time flying
Too much of anything can get annoying
Five billionth in line for the throne
WARNING! This article may cause drowsiness
The mail and email of the species
Jotting down the un-bucket list
Bees deliver stinging fashion critique
Have a tissue issue? Help is a phone call away
My guy's guys are better than your guy's guys
Divorce, Facebook style
Millionaires are a dime a dozen
What not to name the baby
Technology is a wonderful thing -- when it works
A bad case of the wedding bill blues
Of cupcakes, teenage moms and crazy nuptials
FOOD FIGHT!
Rolling Stoned
Caterwauling over death of books is premature
Ask your doctor if this column is right for you
Could shopping be any more inconvenient?
Thanks for the lack of memories
Help wanted: Teenage life coach with all the answers
Sorry, wrinkles are not legal proof of age
Dead mice tell no tales
GOING PAPERLESS -- PRICELESS!
Should bad behavior be rewarded?
The perplexing problems of the rich and famous
Do these glasses make my gut look big?
More expensive by the dozen
In one year and out the other
Thank heaven it's Black Friday
Planning for the long term ---- tomorrow
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The Seven Secrets of Success
It's tough living off the gridIt's tough living off the grid
How not to clean the houseIt's tough living off the grid
The yellow badge of cowardice
Any way you slice it
Home sweet homeschooling
Don't Head for the Borders
Money ball
Golf and death go hand in hand
Tune in, turn off, unplug
The radar curtain
Is Steve Jobs clouding my privacy?
The gift of garbage
Johnny Intern, Ph.D.
Twenty-foot fences make good neighbors
You must remember this…
TV experts and real news
Hey caller, where's the fire?
My sad cushy life
Pacemaker, don't you mess around with me
Big Brother is skinny
Flight of the snowbirds
This HDTV needs child support
Dear Future: Where's the dome?
Not so elementary, my dear Watson
A vacation revolution
Your call is very unimportant to us
Life: There's no app for that
Bam! Practical kitchen magic
Poisoning myself
Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version!
$38,000 for traffic and weather updates
2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack
2010: A year of annoying junk
Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters
Money never sleeps, but it does pass out
President Trump kept it classy
Stalking your college kid won't change a thing
Putting my life in Jeopardy
Mo' government, mo' problems
iLostIt
Dressed for excess
Expert tease
The mysteries of Jersey
You are a toilet, where am I?
Don't we all cheat at the game of life?
What happens when I forget where Google is?
Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out
Picasso fiasco
Purple (hair) Daze
Let me hear your body talk
Working from work
Babies deserve clean restrooms, too
3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past
Money-making ideas on the fly
Collecting and hoarding
Chain of fools
Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them
You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't
e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic
A pose by any other name
Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers
He loves only gold, only gold
Think about direction, wonder why …
Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet
More like wack Friday
The good, the ad and the ugly
The desert of the real
Let books be large and in charge
I was insulting people way before the Internet
GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left!
Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high
Music to my ears it's not
You don't light up my life
Fair or not: Country living is far from Little House
A parable for the ages
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
Green dumb
A developing story
Thinking outside the lunch box
What's good for the goose is good for the scanner
Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative juice
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping
© 2009, NEA
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Tech Q&A
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On Nutrition
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