Home
In this issue
May 22, 2013

John Thorne: They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman

John Rosemond: 'Disciplinary math' adds up to parental successl

Warren Richey: Are prayers before public meetings OK? Supreme Court to decide
Rick Montgomery: Use of ADHD drugs as study aid raises concern on campuses

Brierley Wright, M.S., R.D.: 6 convincing reasons you should keep carbs in your diet

Eoin O'Carroll: Scientists examine nothing, find something

The Kosher Gourmet by Carole Kotkin: This soup is made from one of the great pleasures of spring: A wonderful pairing of rosy color and earthy tang

May 20, 2013

Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?

Hannan Adely: Town raises Palestinian flag at City Hall

Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Morgan Housel: When smart investors do stupid things

Sharon Saloman, M.S., R.D.: Hunger games: Eat more, weigh less, without starving

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star

The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting

May 13, 2013

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation

David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church

Emily Alpert: Recession dragged down birth rates for less-educated women
Morgan Housel: The deep downside of home ownership

Peter Teffer: Will Dutch police soon be stalking cybercriminals on your computer?

Heidi McIndoo, M.S., R.D.: Meatless 'meat' can have its own set of problems

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate! This must-try appetizer is delicate yet has depth of flavor: Corn-Leek Cakes with Caviar, Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche

May 10, 2013

Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be

Caroline B. Glick: The dirty little secret about Israel's Arabs

Mona Charen: Hawking's Moral Calculus: The man and the movement he embraces
Morgan Housel: The biggest retirement myth ever told

Sandi Doughton: Eyes may provide new insight into brain problems

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : The Great Gatsby's Jewish Ties; Jews in the "Time 100 list" List; People's Most Beautiful Women

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A sweet-hot meal: Pear salsa spices up salmon

May 8, 2013

Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas

Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate

Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
Amanda Paulson: Study reveals sad truths about community colleges

Harvard Health Letters: Evidence weak that zinc, echinacea are beneficial

The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility

May 6, 2013

Edmund Sanders and Patrick J. McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again

Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense

Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage
Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say

Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy

Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say

The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal

May 3, 2013

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text

Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public

Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study
Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert

May 1, 2013

Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy

Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push

Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Halena M. Gazelka, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: What you need to know about implanted pain relief devices

Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine

Jessica Shugart: When it comes to math, MRIs may be better than IQs

The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The celebrated chef on how high-maintenance ASPARAGUS RISOTTO need not be

April 29, 2013

Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust

Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?

Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Morgan Housel: He's rich, smart and old: Listen to him

Thomas Salinas, D.D.S.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: The safety of amalgam fillings

Harvard Health Letters: Tomatoes and stroke protection

Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Swing into spring with lemon cream pie

April 26, 2013

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The world is a mirror

Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama

Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance

Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen?

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver)

The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead

April 24, 2013

Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret

Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on
Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication?

Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D.: How to easily get more Omega-3s in your diet

Melissa Healy: Pot in a pill: All the pain relief without the smoke

The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Chipotle Chili Butternut Squash Soup is bold, zesty, hot

April 22, 2013

Ken Dilanian: Counterterrorism's future is unclear

US man departing country arrested on terror charges
Barbara Williams: An unorthodox but growing treatment in a 9-year-old's battle against cancer

P.J. Skerrett, M.D.: How to recognize a good whole grain product

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Teen actor Jonah Bobo in New Flick: Hunky James Wolk on Mad Men; Erich Segal's Daughter Writes Prize-Winning Jewish Novel


Jewish World Review

Do these glasses make my gut look big?

By Jim Mullen




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | There's nothing like a visit to the optometrist to make you feel old.

I'm already wearing trifocals -- for distance on top, computer in the middle and reading on the bottom. I was afraid I would soon need quadrifocals: distance, computer, texting and reading. But it turns out my long-distance vision is actually improving.

After the exam, new prescription in hand, I went to order new glasses. The worst part of buying eyeglasses is that you can't see what they look like on your face because -- you need glasses! Duh! You'd think that by now some tech-savvy 18-year-old would have invented a 99-cent app that photographs your face and lets you see what you look like with different frames. Well, he hasn't. (You know what a good name for it would be? Face Book. Too bad that's taken.) So you try on frames and squint at yourself in the mirror and try to figure out what you look like, even though all you can see is a blur.

I asked the optometrist's assistant what she thought looked best, and, without looking at me, she said, "Try these." The ones I was looking at cost $147. The ones she wanted me to try cost $373 and weren't covered by my insurance.

I put on the more expensive glasses and squinted at myself. I thought they made me look like Dame Edna. Is this really what they're wearing in Milan this year? Do men really buy frames with rhinestones? "It's from the Elton John collection," she said.

The trend for the last few years has been small, narrow glasses that make everyone look like they are in a rock band that is so hip it plays only music you'll never hear on the radio. I can't really pull that off anymore. I could barely do it when I was young; now it would look ridiculous. But I don't want glasses that are so big I look like I come from Planet Bug-Eye.

I'm not a vain person, if you don't count all the hair- and skin-care products in my medicine cabinet, or the elevator shoes, or the corset -- I mean, back supporter -- but I like to think I have a little style, a little flair, a little panache. Actually, my panache is getting pretty big. I've really got to lose some panache before I have to buy bigger pants.

So I went back to the section with the cheap frames that my insurance does cover. I looked among the hundreds of round, oval and even trapezoidal frames for something that would complement the shape of my face.

I have a square face. Imagine Clark Kent, if he were old, fat, gray and out of shape. But Clark wore ugly glasses as a disguise. Who would ever recognize him without his glasses? Yet when I whip off my glasses, people still recognize me. They say things like, "Have you put on even more weight?" or, "I'd sue the plastic surgeon who did that to you."

What, I wonder, could possibly make a little metal frame cost $147? The reading glasses sold in every drugstore cost only five bucks, and most of them have metal frames. I could buy 29 pairs of them for this price. The only difference is they don't have a fancy Italian fashion designer's name on them.

Funny, I never see any of those designers wearing glasses. Just because they can make a ball gown doesn't mean they can make a decent pair of glasses. More than likely, some low-paid schmuck at Frame Central designs them for pennies and the designers slap their labels on them and keep, oh, $140 of the $147. Nice work if you can get it.

Funny thing is, no one has ever asked me who designed my glasses.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."


Previously:


More expensive by the dozen
In one year and out the other
Thank heaven it's Black Friday
Planning for the long term ---- tomorrow
READING THIS WILL MAKE YOU THIN AND HAPPY!
The Seven Secrets of Success
It's tough living off the gridIt's tough living off the grid
How not to clean the houseIt's tough living off the grid The yellow badge of cowardice
Any way you slice it
Home sweet homeschooling
Don't Head for the Borders
Money ball
Golf and death go hand in hand
Tune in, turn off, unplug
The radar curtain
Is Steve Jobs clouding my privacy?
The gift of garbage
Johnny Intern, Ph.D.
Twenty-foot fences make good neighbors
You must remember this…
TV experts and real news
Hey caller, where's the fire?
My sad cushy life
Pacemaker, don't you mess around with me
Big Brother is skinny
Flight of the snowbirds
This HDTV needs child support
Dear Future: Where's the dome?
Not so elementary, my dear Watson
A vacation revolution
Your call is very unimportant to us
Life: There's no app for that
Bam! Practical kitchen magic
Poisoning myself
Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version!
$38,000 for traffic and weather updates
2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack
2010: A year of annoying junk
Why do bad things happen to stupid people?
Moving on from movie theaters
Money never sleeps, but it does pass out
President Trump kept it classy
Stalking your college kid won't change a thing
Putting my life in ‘Jeopardy’
Mo' government, mo' problems
iLostIt
Dressed for excess
Expert tease
The mysteries of Jersey
‘You are a toilet, where am I?’
Don't we all cheat at the game of life?
What happens when I forget where Google is?
Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out
Picasso fiasco
Purple (hair) ‘Daze’
Let me hear your body talk
Working from work
Babies deserve clean restrooms, too
3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past
Money-making ideas on the fly
Collecting and hoarding
Chain of fools
Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them
You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't
e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic
A pose by any other name
Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers
‘He loves only gold, only gold’
Think about direction, wonder why …
Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet
More like ‘wack’ Friday
The good, the ad and the ugly
The desert of the real
Let books be large and in charge
I was insulting people way before the Internet
GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left!
Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high
Music to my ears it's not
You don't light up my life
Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’
A parable for the ‘ages’
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
Green dumb
A developing story
Thinking outside the lunch box
What's good for the goose is good for the scanner
Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative ‘juice’
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping



© 2009, NEA

Insight (Our Columnists)

 Arnold Ahlert
 Mitch Albom
 Jay Ambrose
 Michael Barone
 Barrywood
 Lori Borgman
 Stratfor Briefing
 Mona Charen
 Linda Chavez
 Richard Z. Chesnoff
 Ann Coulter
 Greg Crosby
 Larry Elder
 Suzanne Fields
 Christine Flowers
 Frank J. Gaffney
 Bernie Goldberg
 Jonah Goldberg
 Julia Gorin
 Jonathan Gurwitz
 Paul Greenberg
 Argus Hamilton
 Victor Davis Hanson
 Betsy Hart
 Ron Hart
 Nat Hentoff
 A. Barton Hinkle
 Jeff Jacoby
 Paul Johnson
 Jack Kelly
 Ch. Krauthammer
 David Limbaugh
 Kathryn Lopez
 Rich Lowry
 Michelle Malkin
 Jackie Mason
 Ann McFeatters
 Dale McFeatters
 Dana Milbank
 Jeanne Moos
 Dick Morris
 Jim Mullen
 Deroy Murdock
 Judge A. Napolitano
 Bill O'Reilly
 Clarence Page
 Kathleen Parker
 Star Parker
 Dennis Prager
 Wesley Pruden
 Tom Purcell
 Sharon Randall
 Robert Robb
 Cokie & Steve Roberts
 Heather Robinson
 Debra J. Saunders
 Martin Schram
 Greg Schwem
 Culture Shlock
 David Shribman
 Roger Simon
 Lenore Skenazy
 Michael Smerconish
 Thomas Sowell
 Ben Stein
 Mark Steyn
 John Stossel
 Cal Thomas
 Dan Thomasson
 Bob Tyrrell
 Diana West
 Dave Weinbaum
 George Will
 Walter Williams
 Byron York
 ZeitGeist
 Mort Zuckerman

'Toons
 Robert Arial
 Chuck Asay
 Baloo
  Lisa Benson
 Chip Bok
 Dry Bones
 John Branch
 John Cole
 J. D. Crowe
 Matt Davies
 John Deering
 Brian Duffy
 Everything's Relative
 Mallard Fillmore
 Glenn Foden
 Jake Fuller
 Bob Gorrel
 Walt Handelsman
 Joe Heller
 David Hitch
 Jerry Holbert
 David Horsey
 Lee Judge
 Steve Kelley
 Jeff Koterba
 Dick Locher
 Chan Lowe
 Jimmy Margulies
 Jack Ohman
 Michael Ramirez
 Rob Rogers
 Drew Sheneman
 Kevin Siers
 Jeff Stahler
 Scott Stantis
 Danna Summers
 Gary Varvel
 Kirk Walters
  Dan Wasserman

Lifestyles
 Tech Q&A
 Mr. Know-It-All
 Ask Doctor K
 Richard Lederer
 Frugal Living
 On Nutrition
 Bookmark These
 Bruce Williams