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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 25, 2011 / 20 Shevat, 5771

Standing down on metaphors

By Tom Purcell




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Now that I've had a chance to think about it, I probably could have used a different metaphor.

This is going to be good. Please explain.

I've been coaching our high school's basketball team for a long time. We don't have the most talented kids, but we have the most heart. I've developed quite a knack for firing them up before big games.

Firing up?

We were about to play our archenemy in our biggest game of the year -- but our kids wouldn't get the lead out. They should have been warming up, but instead sat around, shooting the breeze.

That's no good.

I understood why, though. They were still shellshocked over the loss we suffered a few days before. That game was murder.

Shellshocked! Murder!

Well, they figured I was going to console them, but I came at them with both barrels blazing. I told them point-blank that they were at fault for the loss. They were not prepared and went off --

Half-cocked?

That's right. I called out my guard for having an itchy trigger finger -- he'd rather shoot than pass and he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a bazooka.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, after I shamed them a while, I figured it was time to start building them back up. I told them we're bloody but unbowed. Then I threw down the gauntlet. I told them it was no time to retreat; it was time to --

Reload?

That's right. We needed to bite the bullet, after all. We had a real pitched battle ahead of us. Our opposition had a lot of weapons. If we had any hope of beating them, we had to draw first blood.

How did the game go?

Son of a gun if we didn't annihilate our archenemy! We started slow in the first period, but our kids stuck to their guns. The momentum shifted our way. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. But that's when my metaphors got me into trouble.

Trouble?

I assembled our kids after the game. I praised them for their excellent play. I told them the rest of the season was up to them -- it was a shot in the dark, but if we didn't shoot ourselves in the foot, we might make the playoffs.

And that got you in trouble?

One kid's father overheard my speech. He's had me in his sights all year and finally had a clear shot. He complained to the school that my metaphors were vitriolic. He complained to the police that I was inciting violence. I was suspended as a coach and the cops may press charges.

In these highly sensitive times, it might be a good idea to choose your metaphors more carefully.

That may be true. Nobody ever accused me of being a great orator or choosing the best metaphors. Still, they're just metaphors. Do weak-minded people think we're too stupid to understand what metaphors really mean? Have you ever seen anyone shoot fish in a barrel?

A fair point.

Everything is backward, if you ask me. In the process of trying to attribute rational, political motives to a crazy man, people in the media and political arena make themselves look, well, crazy. Now they're afraid to use such metaphors at all. They're missing the target. They need to take more careful aim.

You can't help yourself with the metaphors, can you?

Not by a long shot.


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