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June 19, 2013
June 12, 2013
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Fred Weir: In tweak to US, Russia would 'consider' asylum for Snowden
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The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: A tart filling so good it might not make it to the crust
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Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison
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Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself
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Andrew Connelly and Helene Bienvenu: The Little Synagogue that Refused to Die
May 24, 2013
Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb: When I didn't so 'humbly disagree'
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
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Jewish World Review
2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack
By
Jim Mullen
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Skeptics ask "Can you really see the future?" and I say, didn't I predict that some major movie stars would be involved in scandals last year? Sure enough, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen were all People-magazined to death last year, so I guess you can chalk that one up in the "win" column for me. I also predicted there would be tornados and unusual weather this past year, and sure enough, that's just what we got. Can I put the "kick" in psychic or what? I don't want to claim that I have some supernatural power, but I make Nostradamus look like a sideshow fortuneteller. He pretended to know the future, but he really hid behind a bunch of gobbledy-gook that could be interpreted a thousand different ways. He would have made a great stockbroker.
Did Nostradamus predict there'd be trouble in the Middle East last year the way I did? No, he wrote some stupid poems that could mean practically anything. It's like saying that every time there's a white Christmas that Irving Berlin predicted it. If you live in Florida, it's a lousy prediction.
Predicting the future has its limits. While I can see other peoples' futures, I am blind to my own. I was totally surprised when Sue said she was taking the kids and leaving. Partly because I didn't know we had any kids and partly because I thought she had already left, but you get my drift.
The best part of the predicting business is that no one bothers to go back to see what you predicted last year. Thank goodness. I really missed that whole oil well thing in the Gulf of Mexico and I had no idea Bristol Palin would be on "Dancing with the Stars," and they were two of the biggest news events of 2010. But this year, I think I've got all my bases covered. Here's what will happen in 2011:
Americans will start buying electric cars. Soon after, the price of electricity will rise to the equivalent $4.50 a gallon.
After 30 years of adding soccer to most school athletic programs, professional soccer will become America's 45th most popular spectator sport, beating out curling and Frisbee golf.
A major hurricane will rock the East Coast or the Gulf Coast. Flying debris while reporting on the storm will seriously injure a TV reporter. (That thing about the reporter is more of a wish than a prediction.)
Hundreds of millions of tons of some kind of food will be recalled -- about three weeks after most of us ate it. The offending company will then change its name to "Cat Foods of Distinction" and make more money than ever.
A 30-year-long scientific study will reveal that some expensive vitamin supplement you have been taking for years to improve your memory, stop hot flashes and get rid of earwax is made of paper glue and does nothing.
Speaking of getting rid of earwax, there'll be an app for that.
This summer will be hot, winter will be cold, fall and spring will be seasonable.
Facebook will reach 1 billion subscribers. Most of them will be named Brittany and Ashley.
A well-known Hollywood star will be caught with his pants down. It'll either be a big sex scandal or the trailer for Will Ferrell's next film.
Next year, all TSA agents will be required to massage passengers as they pat them down, making the whole experience more pleasant.
And finally, Lady Gaga and Kim Kardashian will do something that gets them back in the news. Like bed bugs, they are extremely hard to get rid of.
Remember, you heard it here first.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment by clicking here.
Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."
Previously:
2010: A year of annoying junk
Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters
Money never sleeps, but it does pass out
President Trump kept it classy
Stalking your college kid won't change a thing
Putting my life in Jeopardy
Mo' government, mo' problems
iLostIt
Dressed for excess
Expert tease
The mysteries of Jersey
You are a toilet, where am I?
Don't we all cheat at the game of life?
What happens when I forget where Google is?
Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out
Picasso fiasco
Purple (hair) Daze
Let me hear your body talk
Working from work
Babies deserve clean restrooms, too
3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past
Money-making ideas on the fly
Collecting and hoarding
Chain of fools
Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them
You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't
e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic
A pose by any other name
Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers
He loves only gold, only gold
Think about direction, wonder why …
Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet
More like wack Friday
The good, the ad and the ugly
The desert of the real
Let books be large and in charge
I was insulting people way before the Internet
GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left!
Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high
Music to my ears it's not
You don't light up my life
Fair or not: Country living is far from Little House
A parable for the ages
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
Green dumb
A developing story
Thinking outside the lunch box
What's good for the goose is good for the scanner
Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative juice
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping
© 2009, NEA
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