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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan 20, 2011 / 15 Shevat, 5771

It Was Horrible, I tell you … HORRIBLE!

By Bernard Goldberg



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I've just been to a horrible place. A place where sad-faced humans plod along in long lines like zombies; where smug authoritarians bark out commands; where the zombies do just as they're told, fearing the consequences if they don't.

Yes, my friends, I've just been to the airport.

It was bad enough when we only had to take off our shoes, jackets, coats and hats. And had to take out our computers and our little bottles of shampoo and tiny tubes of toothpaste so the men in women in uniform could make sure we weren't smuggling anything on the plane that wasn't allowed according to federal rules and regulations.

Now, as I have just learned, we must also take off our belts (no exceptions; doesn't matter if they're made of metal, leather, or flamingo feathers) and take our wallets out of our pockets — because the new high-tech machines demand we have nothing on us when they take a picture of our naked bodies.

The other day when the TSA guy told me I couldn't walk through the metal detector until I put my wallet in a little round tray so it could go through the x-ray machine, I asked him, "What do you think is in this wallet that might do harm to people on an airplane?" Call me curious.

With the new high-tech machine — which he pointed to — you can't have a wallet in your pocket or a belt on your pants. "But nobody is going through the new machine. We're all going through the old metal detector machine."

Yes, he said, but what happens if the old metal detector machine breaks? Then you're going to have to go through the new high-tech machine. Yeah, and if I had wheels I'd be a trolley car.

When I got through security, a pilot for a major airline — who was also disgusted since he practically had to get undressed before they let him through security — started a conversation with me about how ridiculous the system is. "You know what TSA stands for?" he asked me. Figuring it wasn't what I thought, I said no, what? "Thousands Standing Around," he said.

Look, I'm all for security. We're all for security. And I know the TSA folks mean well. But, come one, don't they remind you of Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife on the old Andy Griffith TV show? Barney would go after old ladies jaywalking with the same vigor he would go after a serial killer, if one ever stumbled into Mayberry. Same with the TSA people. An 85 year old grandma from Des Moines gets the full pat down if they find a knitting needle in her bag. Does this make sense? And why do I think a 22 year old man from Yemen would have an easier time getting through security, even if he was singing the al-qaeda national anthem as he walked through either the old metal detector or the new high-tech machine that wasn't working the day I went to the airport.

There's got to be a better way, but don't count on the TSA to come up with it. A better system might mean fewer TSA agents, and we couldn't have that, now could we?

So here are a few ideas I came up with — not all involve security, but they would all make traveling a little easier — for me, which is who I care about most:

1. Give the pilots a tamper-proof ID card and then let them walk right on through the security checkpoint no matter how much conditioner they're carrying aboard. Think about it: THESE GUYS ARE FLYING A JET PLANE FILLED WITH FUEL. THEY CAN FLY IT INTO THE GROUND IF THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT TO DO. Who cares how much conditioner — or toothpaste, or shampoo, or deodorant — they're taking on the plane.

2. If you're a frequent flyer — if the airline knows your name, address, phone number, place of employment, and all that — they need to figure out a way to get these people off the zombie line and reduce the congestion.

3. Since there is no smoking allowed on planes, it only makes sense that there should be no babies allowed on planes. Okay, not all planes. But some flights should be baby-free. They cry and annoy me.

4. In the gate area, pass a federal law that makes it a felony for airline personnel to tell me to get ON the plane. My name isn't Evel Knievel. Tell me to get IN the plane.

5. Make it illegal for flight attendants to say, "This is a VERY full flight." There are no degrees of full. A flight is either full or it isn't. If they're that sloppy with the language, how can I be sure they're going to get my drink order right?

Okay, that's all I have time for right now. I have to go to the airport. And if any TSA person is reading this, I don't know who got into my computer to write such hateful stuff.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


Comment by clicking here.

JWR contributor Bernard Goldberg, the television news reporter and author of several bestselling books, among them, Bias, a New York Times number one bestseller about how the media distort the news. He is widely seen as one of the most original writers and thinkers in broadcast journalism. Mr. Goldberg covered stories all over the world for CBS News and has won 10 Emmy awards for excellence in journalism. He now reports for the widely acclaimed HBO broadcast Real Sports.

He is a graduate of Rutgers University, New Brunswick, New Jersey and a member of the school's Hall of Distinguished Alumni and proprietor of BernardGoldberg.com.


Previously:

01/11/11: Here We Go Again . . .
01/06/11: You Go, Oprah
12/28/10: A Year-Ender --- The MSM and Obama's Fall from Grace 12/14/10: Thank
Heaven for Rich People

12/02/10: The Phony Nobility of Wikileaks

© 2011, Bernard Goldberg

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