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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 19, 2010/ 4 Shevat 5770

Government work

By Tom Purcell




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | You've got to help me. If I don't find a job soon, the wife is going to brain me.

Relax, the government is here to help. We've been disbursing funds from the $787 billion stimulus bill for nearly a year now. We've created or saved almost 2 million jobs.

But isn't unemployment stalled at 10 percent? Didn't the president say his stimulus bill would keep it from going above 8 percent?

It's not our fault we inherited such a mess. Why, things were so bad, we had to spend months overhauling the health care system.

But won't your health plan raise health insurance premiums, health care costs and income taxes? Won't that hurt the economy and make it even harder for me to get a job?

Look, we have smart people running the country now — many from our leading universities. They're making difficult decisions to do what is best for you.

Best for me? How will capping greenhouse gases help me find a job when such a move will drive up costs on everything and further hurt the economy?

You have to understand we're investing billions in government programs and grants that will ultimately stimulate the economy.

But our deficit is terrifyingly high. Our debt is growing by leaps and bounds. Everyone knows if we keep spending like madmen that will hurt the economy more and make it harder to get work.

I'd be as concerned as you, were I not learned in the science of economics. The first $165 billion stimulus under President Bush was so effective, President Obama gave us a second for $787 billion. Now he's talking about a third!

Look, all I want is a job, but many companies say there is too much uncertainty for them to hire. Their taxes are surely going to go up. They don't know what government mandates they'll be forced to fund.

Thanks to government spending there are lots of new opportunities. You can see them at recovery.gov — and through news reports. You just need the right skills.

The right skills?

Have you ever done research involving the study of sexual arousal in anesthetized female rats?

No, but —


Letter from JWR publisher


Well, what do you know about video games for senior citizens? We gave out a $427,824 research grant to study Grandpa's game-play needs.

But my grandpa can't even work an ATM.

How are you with machine-generated humor? We gave a $712,883 research grant to Northwestern University to design artificially intelligent "comedic performance agents." This will support the "enjoyment and illumination of everyday citizens."

I know how to use a computer, but —

How about Census work? We set aside an additional $1 billion for the 2010 Census, which already has a projected cost overrun of $3 billion.

I'd be happy to take any work, but could use a little more pay than what Census workers —

How are your upholstery skills? We set aside $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters in Washington, D.C.

Well, that sounds like a possibility, but —

But what? For an unemployed fellow you're awful picky. How about this then: We provided a $389,537 grant for an academic study that compares the "outcomes of the concurrent and separate use of malt liquor and marijuana."

You really think spending almost $400,000 to fund a study in which participants get bombed and high will somehow stimulate the economy and produce jobs?

Absolutely, though in this case I'm not sure if participants will be paid.

Sign me up. At this point, I'll be happy to do that one free.

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