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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review January 11, 2010 / 25 Teves 5770

You Really Can Go Homer Again

By Mitch Albom






http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | And I went, "Uumph."


And the director said, "Great. One more."


And I went, "Oomph."


"Great. Let's try again."


This was in Los Angeles, months ago, en route to my biggest moment of fame on the planet Earth and that is, of course, a cameo on "The Simpsons."


"Oooggrrrph."


"Great. Again, please."


My "motivation" (as actors say) was being tossed out of a building and landing splat on the sidewalk. It wasn't just my motivation. It was my actual part. Although I hadn't done it. Because they hadn't drawn it. The way "The Simpsons" works is you do your lines and then they draw the cartoon, so if you are truly pathetic they can at least draw you as pathetic and viewers don't sit there clucking, "This guy can't act."


Which I can't.


"Oooomph."


"Great. Let's do another."

LEARNING HOLLYWOODSPEKE
This all started when "The Simpsons" writers decided to pen a show about Abe (Homer's father) sharing his memoirs with a younger journalist. The plot was reminiscent of my book "Tuesdays With Morrie" and they even called the episode "Thursdays With Abie" and they wrote me into the show because, I don't know, maybe they thought they'd get sued, which I wouldn't have done because, frankly, I don't know how to sue and anyhow, why sue "The Simpsons," I like the Simpsons, the cartoon group, not, you know, O.J.'s version.


In the episode, I show up to try to get Abe to speak to me and he says "never heard of you" and things get cartoon ugly and I am menacingly approached by a gang of senior citizens and six hours later, when they reach me, I am tossed into the street.


Which is why I was making those sounds.


"Ooomph."


"Great. And another …"


(By the way, I have learned that everything in Hollywood begins with "great." Like, "Great script, just a few changes." Or "Great take, let's try again." Great, apparently, is another word for "G0d help us.")

Letter from JWR publisher


Anyhow, I did about a thousand grunts, and I also did my lines, and all of it was into a microphone facing a blank wall.


So I did not meet Homer.


Well, I sort of met Homer. And Bart. And Marge. At least I met the people who do the voices. They are very nice people and do not look anything like their Simpsons characters. And I saw my friend Hank Azaria, who does a gazillion Simpsons voices despite having once played me in a film, and I am very happy that did not sink his career.


And I had lunch with Matt Groening, who created the show and is about as down to earth and unassuming as if he drew himself into the farthest corner of the show, and speaking of drawing, I met the guy who was going to draw my character and he was also quite nice although I caught him looking at my face several times and I imagined he was thinking, "I do not get paid enough to do this."


Anyhow, they were all great and upon leaving I asked, "When will this show be on?" And this was in May. And they said, "January." So I guess it takes a while to draw that shadow on Homer's face.


When I got home, word got out. And suddenly everyone was calling and saying, "'The Simpsons'? No way!" And I was absolutely the coolest son/brother/uncle on the planet. I had street cred — or cartoon cred — that a lifetime of writing never brought me.


Months passed. Christmas. New Year's. And last Sunday, I was in the car on my way to a birthday party when someone called and said, "Hey, your 'Simpsons' episode is on."


And I said, "Again, please?"


They never called to tell me.


So I missed it.


Apparently, however, the rest of the world did not. And thanks to DVRs, I was finally able to see the show myself. It was fun. It was clever. And I want to thank the Simpsons folks for immortalizing me and drawing my ears smaller than they are.


As for my hit-the-sidewalk performance? In a word, I'd say I was:


Great.


Whatever that means.

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"For One More Day"  

"For One More Day" is the story of a mother and a son, and a relationship that covers a lifetime and beyond. It explores the question: What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one? Sales help fund JWR.



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