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Nov. 20, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: How to make every second of your life come first
Caroline B. Glick: Whither American Jewry
Nov. 19, 2009
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Please Listen to this Godcast (5 minutes)
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: What Judaism has to say about the secret of the Mona Lisa's smile
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : When borrowing is stealing
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Obama's failure, Netanyahu's opportunity
Nov. 12, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet By Marialisa Calta : A sweet sweet potato treat
JWisdom.com Does God get tired? with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Jews and money: When anti-Semitism isn't
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review January 8, 2009 / 12 Teves 5769

You know the type

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | As those of you with a literary bent have probably noticed, in recent years book publishers have begun including on the back page of many hard cover books a short description of the font used in the book you've just finished. These paragraph-long explanations usually sound something like the following:


"This book was set in Spumoni, a typeface designed by Florentine typesetter and amateur shadow puppeteer Giacomo Pugliesi in 1827 (or possibly 1829 — for a typesetter, Pugliesi had notoriously sloppy handwriting). Pugliesi's design is based on the original letter forms of the legendary 15th century monk Luigi Bolognese and is, in fact, an exact copy of Bolognese's work, except for the addition of happy faces to dot the 'i's.' It remains unclear whether Pugliesi named the font for his favorite Italian frozen dessert or for Gina Spumoni, a popular burlesque dancer of the day to whom Pugliesi sent hundreds of hopelessly romantic and meticulously typeset love letters."


I have no idea why publishers started doing this, except perhaps in an effort to confuse mystery readers who might be tempted to skip to the last page to find out how the story ends.


Reader: "Oh, the suspense is killing me, I just have to find out who murdered the Viscount. It was… (flipping to the back page of the book) Lucida Grande! That scheming tart - I knew it all along! Wait, which one is she?"


This curious addition to books is yet another of the many inexplicable and sometimes downright objectionable developments of modern life that we've simply stopped questioning, and just go along with like a bunch of lemmings. Other examples include:


  • The "shoes off, shoes on" routine that turns anyone going through airport security into an amateur Mr. Rogers impersonator

  • Retail stores that "check" our receipts as we exit to reassure us that we're not stealing anything

  • Application of the term "artist" to refer to people like Britney Spears

  • Increasingly widespread use of the phrase, "The thing is, is that…"


Recently, after finishing a book and coming across yet another of these font descriptions I couldn't help but express my befuddlement. "Who cares what font the book is printed in?" I said to my wife. "What's next when you finish a book, lengthy descriptions of the paper stock used, page-long explanations about the binding process and some concluding remarks on the history of the ISBN number?" I quipped.


My wife was similarly incredulous. "Since when did you ever finish a book?" she asked, then noted that she, in fact, appreciates that books often include this extra information. "I think it's interesting," she added.


Of course, it's just like her to take the publishers' side. Although she has a point that they're probably just responding to an increased interest in fonts that's occurred since the advent of word processing. Why, thanks to the ability to highlight a section of text in a document and experiment with the look and feel of dozens of different fonts, writers have discovered an invaluable new tool in their ongoing efforts to keep from doing actual work.


Lord knows there was a time when I took a great interest in fonts myself. Specifically, in high school when I discovered that with a little judicious monkeying around with the font type and size, as well as the margins, of the paper I was working on, I could often generate a five-page research paper out of little more than a title sentence. I just wish I had thought to include a paragraph about the font I was using as well — that would have given me enough material for a 50-page thesis.


So now I've come around and, in the interests of self-preservation, have decided to support these end-of-book font descriptions. After all, as my editors never fail to point out to me, as soon as people start losing interest in reading random, pointless information, I'll be out of a job!

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

01/15/09: Just in time, here comes 2009
11/20/08: Hotels go for the green
11/06/08: Something does not compute
10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances
10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders
10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances
09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria
08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion)
06/24/08: Getting the brand back together
05/29/08: Phrased and confused
05/13/08: Take this job and love it
04/17/08: News you can (re)use
04/02/08: Commercial (over)load
02/20/08: An overdose of reality
02/14/08: A developing situation
01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it
01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict
01/02/08: Our bills are due
12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice…
11/28/07: Out with the old
11/06/07: My latest pet project
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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